Last Letter

The feel when you're late in almost everything that you do until you experience something from few days back really hit you to the ground

You have been keeping that text for such a long time and by the time you're ready to press send the answer that you get was really unexpected. 

You thought you could change what you had before but it turns out you've been force to accept the fact that it's no longer available, forever.

Felt aggrieved, disappointed, sad well you name it all. And the only thing you could do was wishing all the best.

Everything seems blurry, your heart shattered to million pieces and thinking who could fix this? Stuck in a place that you couldn't even unleash anything. Track by track played through yourphone but all you can hear was your broken heart piece by piece.

But after awhile, you started to think straight. Remembering the very last sentence that you've said to him "I hope you will find someone that could love you more than anyone else in this world". And he did.

We are not destine to be together and i believe in God's plan. 

I'm truly happy for you and thank you for giving me a very solid reason why should i move on. I'm now in peace and no longer feel guilty for leaving you. At least i did have guts to tell you my feelings and what i've been through for this one whole year. It was tough but worth every shot. 

Regards,

Me

5 Oktober 2016

Bila Si Pengemis merayu-rayu untuk kau memberikan wang makan sedangkan kau berfikir patut kah kau memberi sedangkan kau mempunyai komitmen yang lain. Dengan rasa belas kasihan kau memberi dia dengan apa yang kau punya. Si Pengemis berlalu ke meja sebelah dan meminta lagi, kau perhati lagi. Setelah Si Pengemis berlalu pergi, muncul Si Pengemis kedua menggunakan alasan yang sama untuk mengemis. Hmm begini rupanya rasa ditipu

25 September 2016

I was watching The Vampire Diaries and GG concert at Saitama, Tokyo at the same time and out of sudden i started remembering that my very first best friend have a hobby which is lying to your face, like litterally. 

Believe me, she's a good friend but i don't know why she likes to lie to people even to her closest friend. I was the only friend that are able to caught up with her and really like to be her friend because she's the only one that i can trust and understand me more than anyone. I knew that she lied to my face from the very moment she said she dated a japanese guy plus being one of the famous girl group in Japan during that time. How can you possibly be in two places at once. So i tagged along, pretending that she was telling the truth no matter how many questions i asked her just to make her spill it. Until one moment she said that she's in korean girl group called Haptic Girlz. I started searching and she gave me bunch of songs, even have the guts to rename the songs by making sure that i won't found out about her lies. Apparently, i'm not dumb though. I took the liberty to search online when the album cover of the song that i played through Window Media Player doesn't match with the group's name so from that moment again i knew she lied to me again. I bust her out and she admit it.

I never ask her what's the reason behind all these lies and i still be the very best friend that she needed the most when she got into trouble. She regained my trust again after she told the very dark secret that she had and i feel satisfied or relieved that she finally well i mean at least she proved to me that i'm one of her very good friend. 

p/s: this is a random post that i wrote due to thinking of her out of sudden. I had a lot of free time so this is why this story came up. I had nothing against her, she is still my best friend and will always have a special place in my heart. I love her and still do. 

15 September 2016

There's no word that i could describe how thankful i am for having you guys while getting through this tough world we living. Being caught up with my never ending dramas and all of the emotional roller coaster which i know was not fun at all. Thank you bitches. Saranghae and God bless 😘

14 September 2016

Hello to myself

Wow you're 24 now. Can't believe how fast it was. Anyway may this age of yours bring more character in you, wiser in decision making and make you way fun than before. Appreciate your loved ones and be positive towards all of the hardship that you're going through in the future. Stay healthy and never lose your smile.

Mission

By next year i'm going to Japan, alone or not alone i will go there and no one will be able to stop me! 

Afraid

I feel afraid with a lot of things nowadays. I'm afraid of loneliness, what's going to happen right now and to the future. I don't want to live alone like both of my grandmothers. I've seen it, living alone without your children around you while you're happy or by the time you need them the most. It's definitely sad to see how they died without anyone besides them. But at the same time i'm afraid to get married, conceive my own child, fight over stupid things, share everything and sacrificing your whole life. The responsibilities are too much for me to handle. 

Well i guess maybe only now i think this way. Maybe in the future i might change my perception. I hope...

24 March 2016

I don't know why do i keep thinking of you. You kept appearing in my mind. I guess i miss talking to you or i'm still not used to not talking to you. I don't know.

My life is getting better now. I got new job with good salary. I got my family and best friends who are always with me. Rubs just delivered a baby boy named Auf Raed. Alyaa is still struggling to finish her degree. Although I rarely meet both of my partayy peeps, they're still close to my heart. The beginning of 2016 are great well at least for now. I planned to take Japanese language class and go to Japan by next year. With who? Well i don't really plan to go with anyone and i don't mind going alone as well. I still got few goals to achieve. Can't wait to feel the joy ticking my list of goals. 

Till then,

ssk

To A Person I Once Loved

I lost count when was the day i stop stalking you through facebook. I found it's no use for me to keep stalking you since i'm the one who dumped you plus you already deleted me from your friends list. 

It was hard for me to move on but i know i have to since it's for my own good and i never feel regret for i've done.

I love you i still do, it's just that i believe that you don't deserve me since i'm not really your dream girl who can always listen to everything that you wanted me to do. I really hope you can find someone way better than me.

I'm sorry that i broke your heart and for everything especially during 10 months we have been together. You're one incredible man, you taught me a lot of things and for that i appreciate it so much.

Thank you and may you find the one who will love you more than anything in this world.