Lonely November

I'm friggin lonely.

Weekdays

wake up - get ready - commute to work - work - lunch hour - work - commute to home - sleep

Weekend

Play dead

Any suggestions with what i should do with my life?

October 2017

Wow can't believe that it's October now. I feel different, different in a good way. Still learning, changing from day to day basis. Already accepting the fact that i'm no longer young. Less triggered whenever people calling me "Kak", but still in need to emphasize to people to address me as "Cik" instead of "Puan".

Now i'm starting to get "kahwin" question. Like dude relax, i'm still in my mid 20's like there's no need to rush on it. People around me are now comparing their life to mine whereby, they got married earlier than my age now. Well as for now, marriage is not my top priority. I still have many things to look upon to.

And nope, this year i didn't achieve any of my goals. It's okay, i still have more years to look forward (insyaAllah).

Till then. 

Officially 25

Well look how time flies, i'm finally 25. 

Craving

I crave for real fun and a break. 

What a Surprised

We decided to go back to Umi's hometown to find an alternative way to cure Dad. Apparently not only Dad who needed help, all of us need it too.

After they thrown away this 'thing' i no longer feel every negative feelings i had before. Somehow i feel lighter, happier and indescribable positive feelings. 

Things really did go back on track, i'm more awake than ever. No longer longing for a thing that i forever couldn't have. 

It cured me, physically and mentally

Beginning of April

It wasn't so good. My emotional went upside down. I started to have lot's of negative thoughts on my mind. Easily get angry over a small thing, no chill at all! 

Keep thinking what the hell is wrong with me. Keep listening to 'Hapus Aku' over and over again hoping it keeps me on track. 

I guess i'm just stressed over everything. Too much burden, too much things to think. I realized that i sleep too long during weekends, which i rarely doing since last year. 

I'm thinking of seeing a therapist, maybe i could find some answers.

2017

Hi,

2016 was the year that i've grown and known so much thing while being 24. I spend most of my time with my family and closest friends. I didn't waste any of it. I found a good career. I could say that i achieved a lot. 

At the beginning, i'm starting to reconstruct myself by finding things that i like to do, knowing myself better and take more control of my emotion. I was doing great handling stress and problems. I overcome a lot of things.

At the end of it, i found out that people i once loved got married. It was unexpected but i'm happy for them. What i had before was in the past and i wish all the best for them.

For 2017, i hope this year could be a year that will make me more brave in taking bigger steps and hope i could achieve most of my goals because i didn't achieve any of it last year 😹

Forever goodbye 2016 and allow me to say hello to 2017 🎉