Misery

He decided to let go the rope. Your explanation is never good enough, but it's enough for me to move on. Thank you for being honest. I'm sorry because i couldn't be your friend. Anyway, i hope you can find what you really want in this world.


I'm okay. I always used to things like this. I'm happy this way.



I don't know what is wrong with me but i really enjoy listening to this song

Till then,
Siti Syahida Binti Kamaruddin

Embracing an Awesomeness

Thank you for being there for me like all the time, ahaks.

till then,
Siti Syahida Binti Kamaruddin

Mess

Hello,

Hmm it's been a while since i wrote my last entry. I've been busy or more specifically i'm out of idea. I've been doing something i don't know should i say crazy or just plain, well sometimes it looks crazy to me but sometimes hmm i don't know i can't make up my mind. I've been dreaming about loads of things, beyond acceptable and unacceptable, writing songs: some broken and happiness. Yeah seems like i do enjoy every minutes of my life.

I've been to a place i should'nt gone to. Well i'm not really regret it, because i've met the most important person in my life which i've decided should i forget him or continue to like him after i meet him. Then later he gave me a hope, a hope that every girl desire the most. My heart thumping like crazy, never fail to feel nervous whenever we talk.

I never open my heart until 5 years later, until he came into my life. He was incredible enough to make me unlock my heart without doing or impress me with anything. He just walked straight plus talking, seriously he didn't even look at me. Later, he finally realized me and him felt things the same way. How can this happen when i don't even know him?

He finally confessed after 3 years been liking each other. We studied at different places. It's good to be far away from each other, nothing to be fight of, nothing to be jealous of. It's just that we barely known/understand each other. Hopes have been ups and down.

Lacking communication seriously affected me. It's like we never contact, it's hard usually. I don't know how long i can finally get the right answer. I'm tired, tired with all the little hopes. It's like he's giving a rope and then leave me hanging until i don't know when he's going to pull me up. I can't never say "i had enough", i'm trying to be a mature woman who can think straight and always be positive about everything.


till then,
Siti Syahida Binti Kamaruddin

Motif?

kenapa aku mimpi dia hari-hari ni? aku tak faham.

Oh I Really Miss This People

Bismillahirrahmanirahim, Assalamualaikum

#MukaSopan

Look how crazy we are

Meeting

gossiping while waiting 

picture together

I feel glad meeting and knowing them, thank you Allah :D

2 Tahun

Bismillahirrahmanirahim, Assalamualaikum :)

I learned a lot while i'm at Sarawak. I got lot's of new friends, experienced new environment and etc. A lot of things are first time. Nak kata jahat sangat back then tak kot nakal yela *eceh :D well believe me i'm not that bad it's just that when i was 18, teenager kot of course nak try banyak benda baru kan :) 2 tahun lama jugak la sampai daripada aku tak faham langsung bahasa sarawak aku boleh faham siap boleh cakap lagi. Sana banyak mengajar aku, tentang kehidupan mungkin. Aku tak pernah berjauhan dengan keluarga sebelum ni. Homesick? yeah obviously, sedih tau tak dapat balik selalu. Aku pun tak sangka yang aku mampu duduk sana for like 2 years. I met a lot of people, some of them are wonderful, jerks, douchebags. Because of all this people aku jadi berhati-hati untuk memilih kawan. I treasure my closest friends that's why aku sombong and bukan dengan semua orang aku boleh rapat. Being there it's like a whole new world to me, banyak sangat kenangan. Cinta hati orang sana, ada my favourite kek lapis *sekarang tgk sampai dah tak lalu, Eating ayam penyek *time tu tak popular lagi dekat semenanjung, SCR my favourite chicken rice restaurant ever nothing can beat that, laut santubong yang ada masanya ganas, laut sematan my favourite place, first time pergi hutan simpanan at Kubah, saw lebah yang tak sengat orang *there's no such thing as that dekat semenanjung i think. Semuanya pertama kali :) tipu kalau aku kata aku tak rindu suasana dekat sana. Memories there are too precious to throw it away, but it's too painful for me to keep it. But it was nice though experienced lots of things there, kalau tak semua kenangan tu i won't be like where i am now. Thank you everyone for giving me a chance to make a lot of mistakes without everyone of you i am nothing, tak kisah la pahit manis, thank you ;) and aku dah maafkan semua orang, tak guna pun kenang benda yang dah lepas right? :D

Let's stay positive and be forgiven
once again thank you


Siti Syahida Binti Kamaruddin

Bersalah

Aku.....

Dilema, atau aku hilang punca? Aku rasa macam aku kehilangan sesuatu, sesuatu yang bermakna. Aku rindu kan Tuhan, jarang aku meluangkan masa denganNya. Aku sibuk dengan dunia aku sendiri sehingga Aku mengabaikan tanggungjawab ku untuk sentiasa berada dekat denganNya. Tuhan sentiasa bersama dengan ku baik Aku susah mahupun senang. Dia sentiasa ada untuk Aku, membantu Aku, menrealisasikan mimpi Aku. Memberi Aku kehidupan yang sempurna, memerhati Aku dengan penuh kasih sayang walaupun banyak kali Aku mengingkariNya. Aku malu sungguh Aku malu

Aku hamba yang lemah, lemah tanpaMu Tuhan. Aku perlukanMu di setiap nafasku Tuhan. Terima Kasih atas segalanya Tuhan. Kau lagi Maha Mendengar, Maha Melihat, Maha Mengetahui, Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Mengasihani. Amin ya rabbal a'lamin