2 September 2020

So a year has passed and again i rarely update anything on this blog. But anyway, my life has been great. In regards to my last relationship, well it turned out to be not so great. He definitely cheated on me with i don’t know with how many girls, obviously without me knowing because for sure i would left him at the first place. But then again, i did leave because i don’t see a point of us to be together anymore. After awhile, i continue searching through various dating apps. Then i met my current boyfriend.

We’ve been together for 7 months now and for the first time ever, this is the only relationship with less drama, non-toxic, and far away from any negative vibes. I love the fact that we able to communicate so well and most importantly me being able to be more open with myself. I’m happy with what we are having right now and not one time i wish i meet someone else. 

I want this relationship to last long. I will make it work as i am no longer has the desire meeting someone new and i love us and obviously i wanted to marry this guy. Well wish me luck. Hope it’ll be next year 🤞🏻☺️🤞🏻

31 July 2019

It has been awhile since i updated this blog. I couldn’t find any apps that could support blogger properly.

For the past 6 months, my life has been full of emotional roller coaster. I had a breakdown, finally letting out the word killing myself. Proven to be unworthy to live. I wanted to get help but i’m afraid of being judged. I look bright on the outside but on the inside deep down i’m suffering. My emotion has  overtaken me especially now i’m in a relationship. I thought being in a relationship would help me to overcome my pain but apparently i’m wrong.

I don’t know how long will i lasts. I’m afraid that one day i might harm myself or won’t be able to hold my sanity anymore.

Sizes

It's been awhile, but hello...

Anyway, yesterday i posted a Raya pic of me together with my best friends. Since taking raya pic together has been a part of our annual ritual so i posted it on my instagram and shared it to the facebook as well. So one of my old schoolmate commented on my pic saying that i look a bit "bambam" meaning fat in a cute way. I don't really feel offended because i do realize that i'm fat and overweight. I replied by saying yes and lol it all the way.

I'm totally okay with people calling me fat and obese, because i learned how to love myself and i couldn't even care less what others think of me. I love when i was skinny, shape-py, and even now, fabbity fat-fat. However, you need to know that not everyone able to hear from someone else whether they're too fat or too skinny. It's offensive and you don't even know the struggle with people like us are going through.

Do mind your word because the effect is long term. 

Pesanan sayang from me ❤️

Till then.

1 July 2018

Nowadays, i realized that my personalities has changed. Well i'm still enjoying my time alone. However, i do appreciate hanging out with a friend besides than my best friends. Like my previous post, i've mentioned that i've made couple of good friends in the office. I like hanging out with them, even any of them. 

I do feel like i'm more ambivert instead of introvert. I guess i need to take the test again then.

Till then.

New Friends?

I've made new friends in the office. After my usual lunch buddy went to another company, i don't have anyone else to eat with until J said "well i can accompany you" and from there i instantly gained myself 6 of new friends where we can harshly joke around.

I like how we instantly clicked, maybe it's because 2 of them have the same age as me.

Being around them shows the different side of me and it's fun!

Till then,

Still January

My career path has changed. I'm no longer doing what i'm used to. Well change is a good thing. Now i'm thinking of pursue studying. I need to be a better person, work more on myself and yes i need to WORKOUT because obviously i'm not getting any younger. Less sugar intake, more vege need to be consume and eat clean. Ugh it's so hard whenever i'm confronting good foods. So i guess all of these should my 2018 year resolution then...? 

Oh well...

Till then

January 2018

Wow can't believe i'm now unofficially 26.  I'm not really excited for 2018. It's not that i had a rough start, it's more like i had a blank start. I can't think of anything. Could be i'm thinking of something but after awhile it turns blanco 

I don't even come up with any resolution for this year. And again i have a feeling that i'm demotivated with everything.

Ohh well, happy belated new year everybody!